Through The Valley

            “This is it,” says Sam, “If I take one more step this will be the farthest from home I have ever been.”

            Friends, we are not in the Shire anymore. We are in that place, when you have gone farther from home than you have ever gone before, and you are wondering what is out there? What is out there in the unknown? If we take another step certainly, we are committing to the journey. A journey that will inevitably take us to a place known as The Valley of the Shadow of Death.

            “Let’s go,” replies Frodo. “Remember what Bilbo used to say: It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.”

            We have all been swept up by life, and taken further from “home” (although that is the only place we can legally be), then we would have ever chosen. We now know that tomorrow will not always look like today. It seems as though, the entire world has been forced into a collective meditation on our own vulnerability.  So, we must learn, now, what it takes to go through the Valley of the Shadow of Death.

Honest Speech

            Let’s start with “even though.”

            Healthy spirituality is always honest.

            How are you?

Recently, something has changed for me about that question. It feels like (over the last who’s counting), I have literally had to re-train my brain to answer the question,” how are you?” More honestly.

            So, how are you?

            My prayer is, by the end of our time together Psalm 23:4 could be your honest answer.

            How are you?

            Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.

The problem is, we learn implicitly, over many conversations, that most of the time this question is a polite courtesy to tack on to the beginning of a conversation. So, we give the customary “doing fine, a little busy’” (but that is because I am really important), answer. So both parties can move on to what we really want to talk about. 

Cultures, institutions, families, marriages, friend groups often develop a code of what can be said, and what can’t be said.  What is okay to talk about, and what is not okay to talk about. We learn what to avoid and what is acceptable to say.

            As we walk through life, we pick up the message that our honest expression isn’t always welcome. We search and wonder, “is there a place where I can I finally be honest about how I am actually doing?”

            The consequence of these unspoken rules is that so many of us are left carrying (consciously and unconsciously) around heavy and painful amounts of grief, loss and heartache.

The bible presents a counter narrative to this narrative of denial. It makes space for an honest, hard look at God and ourselves.

Nearly all the wisdom we possess, that is to say, true and sound wisdom, consists of two parts: the knowledge of God and of ourselves. –John Calvin

Perhaps, the most honest speech ever spoken is the lament of David found in Psalm 22:1 My God My God why have you forsaken me! It was certainly true when David wrote it, but it took on its fullest expression when it was quoted by Jesus to describe the agony of the cross.

You might think that Jesus would come up with his own unique description of Lament, but instead he quotes David. David and Jesus were two men who were well acquainted with the Shadow of Death. The greatest earthly King, and the King of Kings, both had moments in their life where the only natural response was, My God, My God why have you forsaken me?

            “Lament is what happens when people ask, “Why?” and don’t get an answer.”- N. T. Wright.

What this means is that you don’t have to be afraid to say how you really feel. It is okay to get to the heart of what you are feeling, God is not surprised. He has heard it all before.

Now if you are like me, when you hear big bad numbers and statistics, they fly through your brain, with this strange, “I know this is bad but I can feel it emotionally,” feeling of a cold, disconnected, numb; dread.

            But when I hear about individual experiences, it gets to me.

This week I read a description of the new normal for Rev. Elizabeth Gibbs-Zehnder, Presbyterian Hospital Chaplain at LA County/USC Hospital, and it got to me.

            She wrote, “In order to conserve scarce resources like N95 masks, chaplains don't provide face to face routine support to patients who are hospitalized because of COVID-19. We do reach out by phone and offer prayer and spiritual support to those patients and their families. The exception to this is at the end of life, when anointing or prayers for the dying are requested. In those moments, we gown, glove, mask, cap, and face shield up and draw near to the one who is dying, while one of their loved ones watches through the glass.” 

            As I imagined her, one of my colleagues, trying to console a patient dying of the Corona Virus, with the equivalent of a hazmat suit on, as loved ones are only able to look on through a glass window, my natural reaction is to ask why?   Why Lord; why?

            John Calvin concluded that a sense of being forsaken by God, far from being unique to Christ, or rare for the believer, is a regular and frequent struggle for believers. He wrote, “There is not one of the godly who does not daily experience in himself the same thing. According to the judgment of the flesh, he thinks he is cast off and forsaken by God, while yet he apprehends by faith the grace of God, which is hidden from the eye of sense and reason.”

            Now we are getting a little more honest. Honesty makes room for us to be our true selves. No need to pretend things are fine when we are in the Valley of the Shadow of Death, we all know they’re not. This is our “even though” moment, even though I walk through the Valley of Shadow of Death.

Keep Walking

            Let’s move to “I walk.”

            Winston Churchill still said it best “if you are going through hell, keep on going.”

            I have been so inspired by all of the creative movement that people have generated in this time. My wife Katie will tell you, there was an advertisement going around of people working out on their rooftops in creative ways that made me a little teary eyed. People doing jumping jacks, break dancing, tangoing, anything to remind themselves they are still alive. The human spirit driven to overcome difficult circumstances is a beautiful thing to behold. The dancing, the ridiculous dancing we have done. They are going to have to scrub the internet of all these embarrassing videos, after this is all over. Movement means that we have not given up. Movement means that we are willing to face the uncertain hours of waiting with all the creativity we can summon. Movement creates momentum, momentum gets us through.

            For a long time, the Baptists thought that dancing was of the devil (and certainly some may say mine is), but I never knew how they could make that teaching work, when scripture clearly says that David was dancer.

So, David went to bring up the ark of God from the house of Obed-Edom to the City of David with rejoicing. 13 When those who were carrying the ark of the Lord had taken six steps, he sacrificed a bull and a fattened calf. 14 Wearing a linen ephod, David was dancing before the Lord with all his might, 15 while he and all Israel were bringing up the ark of the Lord with shouts and the sound of trumpets. 2 Samuel 6:14

Dancing, as a form of worship, is a declaration of victory. David is declaring what he has just learned. The truth, that when you have a good shepherd there is no reason to fear evil.

            “You become like what you worship. When you gaze in awe, admiration, and wonder at something or someone, you begin to take on something of the character of the object of your worship.” ― N.T. Wright

            When we worship in the valley, we become more like the One we worship. We declare His goodness with our whole body.

            Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. John 4:23

            The Boss (Bruce Springsteen) said it like this; "You can't start a fire worrying about your little world falling apart…baby we were just dancing in the dark.”

            So, go for your walk today. Put some worship on the headphones. Keep moving.

Carry Each other

Rods and Staffs

            Comfort has never been something I’m comfortable with. You see, I like to be the helper, not the one being helped. You might see nobility in that, but really, it’s all mixed up with my pride. I don’t like feeling weak. But weakness is what we must experience in order to grow.

            Suffering and solidarity with the suffering of others has an immense capacity to 'make room' inside of us. It is probably our primary spiritual teacher."  --Father Richard Rohr

            At the end the of Sam and Frodo’s journey, at its darkest moment; we have one of the most powerful scenes of “Lord of the Ring.”  Frodo the keeper of the ring, is overwhelmed by the suffering he has been asked to endure. Frodo has collapsed, all hope seems lost, until we hear from his friend, Sam, “Come, Mr. Frodo!" he cries. "I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you.”

            This was even true for Jesus, when the cross was too heavy for Him to carry alone. So, this mysterious figure, Simon the Cyrene, helped Jesus carry His cross.

            Could it be that Simon’s stepping in to help Jesus make it to the cross, to help Jesus at that moment, was the provision of the Good Shepherd? Giving Jesus what he needed to complete His journey through the Valley of the Shadow of Death?

            Jesus, the Messiah, King of Kings, needed help. 

            The world is too difficult and dangerous to go it alone. Have you asked for help yet? Have you let someone carry you?

            I love how Neil Gaiman puts it,

sometimes it only takes a stranger, in a dark place, to hold out a badly knitted scarf, to offer a kind word, to say we have the right to be here, to make us warm in the coldest season.

            I might not always be the guy who can help, but I know a guy with a rod and a staff, if you know what I mean.

            I know if you asked for help; people from this Church would line up.

In summary

When you get honest, keep moving, and ask for help; even when it feels overwhelming, you will make it through the Valley of the Shadow of Death.

And may you never forget that shadows only exist because there is a Sun.

Amen.